...and new growth.

Here's a gem from living out the turning of the new leaf. What do you lose sleep over? Not what do you worry about, but what are you willing to lose sleep over? A good TV show? If you are a runner, I know a good early morning run will get you up and out of bed, though not always with a bound and enthusiasm. That's because the joy comes after. Good grades? Work? In short, what you are willing to lose sleep over displays what you love, what you treasure, because sleep is pleasurable, and a pleasure some of us are willing to forgo in the hopes of aquiring some other thing we value as important. Being a father of 4 (possibly 5 kids now) I have to structure my time well. Of course, I structure it based on what I value. I usually have to do all my running before anyone is awake so as not to take time away from my family duties. Even that shows some of my commitments. Today however, as I act on my rearranged priorities, I got up and spent an hour in the Word and an hour in reading counseling material, theological material, and prayer. Why? Because the Word alone and time spent with it's Author alone can make me wise, and, believing what it says, I am placing myself in the path of it's influence, or under the means of grace, that I may grow wise, that I may be prepared for the life that I live within, that I may have wisdom to share with those God places in my path, whether formally as a counselor or informally as a fellow human. I want to be wise. The Word and time under it's counsel is the means. Running has crowded that out of my life, as has sleeping. I've been willing to carve out sleep time to run, but it has then pushed out study time. Today? Today I got up and under the Word, and I am blessed for it. It and my readings have oriented me properly to the world I live in, to myself, others, and the world. Running will have to wait, or exercise really as I ran last night and today am to do some calisthenics. A godly man once told me to be godly, I would have to lose some sleep. Well, here we go. The return on this side of the obedience is worth it, just like the run when you're in bed and tempted to forgo it for the comfort of the sheets and blanket. Obedience brings joy afterward. And blessing.

New Leaf

So, this is my so called new leaf era. No more overindulgence of tobacco, alcohol, running, traditional archery, low carb eating, or whatever else is the lust of the particular moment. I will keep first things first: worship daily in the Word to orient me to reality, service to my family, running behind that as it brings me alive to be in the woods for long periods of time, hopefully ing that order. I would put service to my home group and church family ahead of running if I wanted to be correct, but I'm trying to be honest first. We'll see how things pan out. I want to run the Highlands Sky 40 miler, the VT 50 with Samual Miller, and the Pinhoti 100. In fact, after the Highlands Sky, I want to run a 50 or 50K monthly till Pinhoti. That will help me keep the drinking and the tobacco in check. I need the help. Otherwise, I lose focus and overindulge. Anybody out there can help me be accountable.

Daily run: Three runs a week right now to get into it. 3.45 miles, 35:32 minutes. Average hr:142, Max 154. Tried to keep it under 150 for the run. Right ankle hurting throughout and tweaked inside of right knee, slowed on last .5 to ease it.

So, got another example of how second things become first things and destroy both the first thing AND the second thing. I started smoking a pipe. Nothing morally wrong with that I don't think. However, I can't just enjoy the occasional pipe now and again, no, I have to stay up late at night for at least a week reading all about pipes and pipe smoking. I have to think and breathe all things pipe for a few weeks till something else dispels it's place in my heart. I'm not sure where this one came from. I think part of it is good. Without realizing it, I think I have had some fear of dying lying dormant in my heart. Some of my obsessions with nutrition and exercise have been fueled by this. As a hospice social worker, I am surrounded by brokenness every day; not just death, but death working itself out in humans, people decaying, losing their dignity, urinating and defecating on themselves, losing their rationality, their mobility, their self. I started to rest more in God's love and look forward to the renewal of all things that will come when the kingdom is fully consumated. I also realized I didn't want to end up like the people I was seeing and that Psalm 90:10 is true: "The days of our lives are seventy years; And if by reason of strength they are eighty years, Yet their boast is only labor and sorrow; Fo it is soon cut off, and we fly away". I was hoping for longevity, now I'm not so sure. Anyway, all that led me to pick up the pipe and hang up the shoes. Then, I got bit by the Traditional Bowhunting bug. Something about the natural wood, the simplicity of the art, the ancientness of the practice, the communion with the outdoors all appeal to me. However, I go to church this Sunday, and it all is put in perspective again by the Lord through his word and people. What matters? What lasts? What will never disappoint or fail? Only God and his eternal kingdom. all that matters is loving God and skillfully loving my neighbor as God's representative. My foremost time and identity is to be invested and grounded there. All else is to come second. Only when I am gripped by that first passion may I keep all the other interests and passions or desires of mine in place. This is the struggle I have with all I find pleasure in. There is glory in all things, yet they are only glories with a small g and are meant to point me to the Glory of God, to sing his praises as I enjoy his creation. So I will smoke my pipe, and run in the woods, and shoot my bow and arrows, and love my wife and play with my kids and eat my delicious food and praise my God by his grace. Lord help me to keep first things first, and all else second and to never define myself by secondary things, and to never be controlled by them, but by your spirit and agenda. Amen. Bach said it well," At sea, on land, at home, or abroad, I will smoke my pipe, and worship God." Amen brother.